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One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
– Edgar Watson Howe

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
– Mae West

My wife is a s.ex object - every time I ask for s.ex, she objects.
– Les Dawson

A woman’s guess is much more accurate than a man’s certainty.
– Rudyard Kipling

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
– Groucho Marx

Just in case you’re interested: Women Funny Quotes - Part 1